First love.

all you need is love
all you need is someone to hold,
she told me so as we laid beneath that summer tree
she said you need the kind that stops hearts if ends
that's how you know it is real
because you stop breathing
because your skin turns cold
your heart shrivels
the places where his hands once fit are lost as your body goes limp

she told me it was real
and to this day, I continue to wonder if she needed CPR


when it ended,
my world shook,
when it ended I found solace  in tornados
I was morphed into helplessness and bombarded with memories
there was no escape
I just had to let it pass
I'm still counting the cars, wondering when they will end
It's been years
I want to be hit by one
Maybe it will reset my broken limbs
Maybe it will let me dream

I'm only alive because I still love her
I am a shadow, forever wandering through her twisted mind
I am lost
I do not want to be found